My daughter and I have been some what at odds lately. Nothing horrible or earth shattering, but just at odds you know? And I in my wisdom have been trying to get her to see “my” wisdom…….
The problem has been that every time I feel I nail her on something a few hours later the Lord gently asks me if I am doing the same thing. Wait a sec Lord….We’re dealing with my daughter right now not me……
I find myself trying to control my daughters thoughts and feelings so that I can control the outcome of a circumstance….Nailing my daughter on not trusting the Lord….While I myself am not trusting the Lord to love better, protect better, to grow better than I ever could..
I find myself quoting the scriptures on humility and not thinking of yourself as higher than others…..but do I not do the same thing?
The Lord isn’t in to beating my brains out with this stuff, but this morning as I was looking at some scripture art my heart was broken before the Lord. I know I consider myself higher than others, I know that I struggle with humility. I forget even as I say it, that Jesus came to be with the lowest of the low and to raise them up not step on them.
And my heart is broken because it is so easy to find fault, so easy to think “I got this” whatever your this may be. Maybe the Lord does allow us to see fault in others just so that we can see what we look like when we function in the same fault.
Maybe He let me see my daughters issues with trust so that He could lead me to healing in that area myself. Maybe seeing lack of humility in another lets me see my own brand of superiority. Maybe the heart He wants to bring into account is mine.
It always frustrated my daughters that I would only deal with the offender in front of me. I wouldn’t deal with what daughter two did if it was daughter one standing in front of me. I have a habit of saying that when we stand before the Lord we won’t be bringing anyone else up there with us to be able to say “they made me do it”.
It is funny though how I have dealt with everyone else’s issues before God…..except for my own……
Break my heart with humility Lord and let me always know my life is about you and not me. teach me to trust and walk in humbleness with everyone. amen.